Bringing Your Multiples Home
Try to remember that the upcoming months will be hectic and stressful. The only thing on your mind should be caring for your babies and enjoying (as much as possible) the days ahead.
Setting Your Priorities
Now is not the time to worry about a clean house or hot meals at dinnertime. Recognize that you are in a temporary adjustment period and that your greatest priority is your expanded family. Relax and learn to let things go. You will be able to address those other responsibilities once your body has healed and your babies have an established routine.
Sleeping and Your Babies
Your babies will most likely have different sleeping patterns when they first come home. In a 24-hour period, most babies will sleep a total of about 16 hours, but that doesn’t mean your babies will sleep at the same time, and that could result in your holding, feeding and changing at least one baby all day. Talk to your pediatrician about how to get your babies on the same sleeping schedule. With time and patience you can teach your babies how to sleep and wake at nearly the same times.
Co-sleeping
Talk to your health care provider about how your babies should sleep at home and if you should lay more than one baby in the same crib. There are different opinions on co-sleeping. Some providers say co-sleeping poses a danger to the babies because one may roll on top of the other. Other providers believe co-sleeping is beneficial because it creates a womb-like atmosphere for the newborns. Decide with your provider what sleeping arrangement is best for your babies.
Your Sleep
While you are busy caring for your newborns, your body is recovering from pregnancy and delivery. Adequate sleep is essential for you right now. To ensure that you are getting enough rest, try to sleep when your babies sleep. If you are finding it difficult to sleep during the day because your babies are not on a schedule or you have older children, ask a family member or friend to come over for a few hours while you take a nap. Your body needs the rest.
Breast-feeding Multiples
If you have decided to breast-feed your babies, the days ahead may be trying and exhausting. You may feel as though you are breast-feeding all the time. This will pass as you and your babies become comfortable with each other and breast-feeding. Some questions that may be on your mind:
Q. Will I be able to produce enough milk for my babies?
A. Yes. Your body produces milk on an as-needed basis. So as you nurse more, your body produces more. If you think your milk supply is low, talk to your health care provider about pumping breast milk outside of feedings to increase your supply.
Q. How do I hold more than one baby for breast-feeding?
A. You can feed two babies at the same time by holding one on each breast. One common method of holding two babies to the breasts is called the football hold, where the babies' bodies are under your arm and one hand is placed under each baby's head. (Picture a football player carrying a football.) Placing pillows under the babies will provide good support. Always alternate breasts at each feeding or every 24 hours to produce equal amounts of milk and prevent blocked milk ducts. If you are having trouble, seek help from your health care provider or a lactation consultant.
Q. Will my nipples be constantly sore?
A. Nipple soreness is caused by incorrect latching on or positioning, not the number of babies you nurse. Be sure each baby is properly attached to your breasts. This isn't always easy at first, so ask for help from your health care provider or lactation consultant.
Telling Your Babies Apart
If your babies are identical, even you may have trouble telling them apart. That will change as time goes by, but for the first few weeks there are a few tricks you can try. Paint drops of different colored nail polish on the babies' big toes. Or have a different color blanket for each baby.
Bringing Out the Individual
Start from the very beginning to celebrate the individuality of your babies. Avoid dressing them the same and referring to them as "the twins" or "the triplets." Keep their clothes in different drawers and give them each their own toys. Your babies’ will immediately show you just how unique they are. Support their individuality.
Bonding with Multiples
You may think there isn't enough time in the day to give your babies the basics, let alone have the special times required for bonding. That's just not so. Every time you are with your babies there is an opportunity for bonding. Your voice, your smile, your touch is all your babies need to feel close to you. Don’t be surprised if your bond with each baby develops differently, especially if one baby remains in the hospital or you have one baby who is sick.
Calming Your Babies
What to do when two or three babies are crying at the same time? First, calm yourself. Remind yourself that all babies cry. Then make sure your babies are safe and uninjured. Take one baby out of the room, swaddle, change or rock that baby until he has stopped crying. Put that baby down in a quiet room. Go back for your other baby, and begin to comfort that baby. If you have three or more babies, be sure to take the baby you are trying to calm to a quiet room.
Bathing
When your babies first come home, give sponge baths one at a time. Talk to your baby while gently washing his body. Use bath time to get some special one-on-one time with each baby. You can also ask family members or friends to help bathe the babies.
Call for Help
If you are lucky enough to have family and friends nearby, call them for help. Don't be ashamed to recognize how much an extra set of hands can ease your day. When you have a set of volunteers, tell them specifically what you would like them to do and when. Helpful friends can take care of shopping, laundry, meals, errands, housework and siblings while you focus on your newborns.
Taking Your Babies to the Doctor
Your first checkup with your pediatrician will take place about two days after the babies' birth. Because you will have to dress the babies and get them all to one place at the same time for the first time, you may want to enlist a friend or family member to go with you. Give yourself plenty of time and keep your sense of humor!
The First Provider Visit
During the first year, your health care provider will weigh and measure your babies to be sure they are getting enough nourishment. Proper growth is a sign your babies are developing at a normal rate. Your provider will also examine your babies for any signs of health problems. Future visits will occur at 2 months, 4 months, 6 months, 9 months and 1 year. You can ask your provider for a vaccination schedule for your newborns.
Bringing Home Preemies
If you are the parent of multiples, it is likely your babies were born premature. One or more may require a prolonged hospital stay. When your babies finally come home, you may feel nervous holding or touching them because they are so small and vulnerable. If you follow the instructions from your health care provider, you can feel comfortable that your baby can be held and massaged. A wonderful way to bond with your preemie is to place the baby (dressed only in a diaper) on your bare chest and place a blanket over the two of you.
If Your Baby Is Sick
If one or more of your babies comes home from the hospital requiring special care, you will need to pay close attention to the instructions given to you when leaving the hospital. If you have a question, do not leave the hospital until you understand the answer. At home, create a binder or folder to organize discharge instructions and your baby's medical history. You may also want to earmark one calendar just for your baby's doctor appointments. Keep phone numbers for your health care providers and emergency phone numbers posted in clear view.
Staying Organized
Create a chart to keep track of feedings, diaper changes, how much each baby is eating, and medication times (if needed). If a baby becomes ill, your health care provider will ask for this information.
Stock Up on Supplies
You'll find that caring for multiples takes a lot of baby supplies. To limit the number of trips to the store, buy essential items in bulk. Stock up on diapers, wipes, formula (if you are not breast-feeding) and bottles. You can also buy extra onesies and light pajamas. Keep the receipts and return any unopened items when you are sure you won't need them.
Preparing Older Siblings
Include your older children in the care of your newborns as much as possible. You may even purchase a set of dolls for small siblings to care for as you take care of your babies. Toddlers will see this as playing together. Prepare siblings for the increasing number of visitors and be sure any guests to your home acknowledge and talk to your other children. Praise older children for their support of the babies and remind them that the babies will grow and won't always need this much attention (and will be much more fun to play with!).
Connect With Multiples Families
Seek support and advice from other families of multiples. Check your hospital, community center or local churches for contact information for multiples support groups. Web sites can also provide information and advice from other parents of multiples.
Time for Your Partner
During this hectic, sleep-disturbed time, find time to be alone with your partner. You may not feel comfortable leaving the babies with a baby sitter at first, so be creative and try to steal short periods of time together, even if it is taking a weekend nap together while the babies sleep.
Playing With Your Babies
Once the babies are fed and changed and awake, then what? Simple play will assure your babies they are loved and safe. Don't think you have to hold your babies to play with them. Keep them near you and talk to them. Sing to them. Read stories to them. They won't understand the words, but the sound of your voice will comfort them. Babies also enjoy listening to music and the sounds toys make. As their eyesight improves, show them brightly colored pictures or even a mirror.